One Secret of Happiness
When we share times when we are happy and when we make others happy, it makes us happy (and builds community).
Share your stories
You will get the most out of the questions below if you answer them with friends or partners. The idea is to have conversations using these questions as prompts. You are sharing stories, not gathering objective data. If you are listening, it helps if you are enthusiastic and enjoy it.
· Talk about a time when you were happy. Why was that? What was it like?
· Talk about a time when you made someone else happy. What was that like? What did you and the other person gain from this?
If you enjoy this practice, please tell two or three friends about it. Your enthusiasm will generate a ripple of happiness starting from you.
Sharing stories works well in a small, intimate group and surprisingly well in a larger one, where it is great fun and builds community.
A story
I tried this with my wife and another couple. We spent about half an hour going around the table answering the questions. It was straightforward and enjoyable. The most difficult was deciding which of the many happy experiences to share. Having to choose makes you realise you have had lots of them, which is excellent.
It was interesting to learn what made other people happy. For instance, Barry became deaf relatively young and got much pleasure from helping older adults use their deaf aids. His practical help was a lovely way to give and receive happiness from something problematic. We all agreed that making others happy was a great source of personal happiness.
I heard again about one of my wife’s happy times. She was utterly overwhelmed by a magical sunset. I also heard her describe it to our friends, which gave me a new and vivid perspective on her and her experience.
I talked about a time I was reading passages from a very funny book with a group of friends, and my uncontrollable laughter caused an explosion of helpless laughter from all of us. We laughed with each other like a group of very small children. It was lovely.
Sharing our stories was an enjoyable and different way to spend time together. We all felt happier and closer afterwards.
More information
If you are interested in the approach, look at some literature on “Appreciative Inquiry”. One key idea is that we create what we look for. So, if we look for happiness, that is what we find!
The “Happy Planet Index” measures the efficiency with which countries turn their ecological footprint into happiness and long life.
How you can help me
I would appreciate any comments you might have about any “happiness” session that you run. It would be lovely to know more about what you learned, what you enjoyed about it, any impact it’s had and any ideas about how we could do this work better. There are lots of ways to contact me via the website.
I dream that more people will be sharing happy stories, just like you did, and this will create happy communities with happy people. Oddly, something so simple could make the world a better place.