Cheeky questions

Try this “game” sometime. You find a partner and ask that person any question you like. The deal is that the other person either answers honestly or declines to answer. If they answer, then that person can ask you a question, as before. If they decline to answer, you get the chance to ask that person another question, and so on.

You can also do this in a small group.

It is surprisingly effective and fascinating. You will learn a lot. Most people seem to find asking questions much more difficult than answering them.

This method works best with someone you already have a good relationship with. It does have the power to make good relationships better!

“Cheeky Questions” is not an original idea, but I do not know its source.

Safety first

Some people have raised legitimate concerns about the safety of the “game”. Here are some things you can do to create safety.

The most important thing is to play “cheeky questions” with positive and caring intent.

Do not use it flippantly or while drunk or drinking.
Ask easy and non-intrusive questions first.
Listen hard to the answers.
Remember that the purpose of the game is to get to know each other better
Have an agreement about confidentiality and not gossiping before you start
Ask constructive questions that invite new thinking
Remind each other that it is Ok and perfectly acceptable not to answer a question.
And most importantly, you will be honest, which builds mutual trust.

Here are some possible questions.

What good things have happened lately?
What is your happiest memory?
Which subject did you like best at school and why?
What do you like most about your life?
What do you like most about yourself?
What are your greatest strengths?
If you had three wishes for your world, what would you do with them?
What is your highest dream for yourself?
What do you believe?
Why do people love you?

My experience

My wife and I shared a long car journey and whiled away the time by playing the game. Time flew. It was most enjoyable. We learned new things about ourselves and each other. We had been married for many years.

Finally

This game would helpfully build mutual understanding between people in an organisation. I would love to see it happening “in the wild” at random between diverse strangers. Their deep appreciation of each other would be beautiful!