Could these simple ideas make the world a happier place?

These are a few ideas. Some may already be happening. If they are, please tell me about them. I hope they inspire you to action. They are all simple, but none of them is easy. They may challenge your assumptions. These are potential programmes or projects, not techniques.

Please let me know what you think of them.

Cuddle therapy

Most of us instinctively know that a warm cuddle will often help if a child is distressed. Sometimes, the child may cry or get hot and angry, but things are much better afterwards. It is also an instinct to want to cuddle someone distressed. This instinct applies to adults, too.

We seem to have made being natural like this very complicated. A few damaged people’s experiences have distorted this natural and healthy behaviour, making it abusive. In trying to protect others and ourselves, many people are now deeply scared of cuddling or being cuddled, “doing what comes naturally.”

So, perhaps we need to reclaim this, ask for a cuddle whenever we need one, and offer one. We could even give cuddles to each other. Sex and closeness are not the same. You can be sexual without being close and close without being sexual. Closeness is a basic need for humans.

Documentaries about humans at their best

David Attenborough’s films about life on Earth are world-famous and beautiful. They now cover life in all its varieties except human beings! Humans are remarkable. Although we can be appallingly destructive, we are capable of greatness. Most of the “news” we read is negative.

I would love to see some documentaries about humans at their best. A series about how different cultures celebrate life events would be exciting and inspiring. We are not very good at celebrating in the West. We often overeat and get drunk. Other cultures do it much better. We could all learn from each other.

There is a tribe in South Africa that handles miscreants very elegantly. The offender sits in the middle of a circle of all the people in the village, who tell them all the good things they can remember about that person. The ceremony can go on for days. Then, the people welcome the person back.

Of course, “we” also have some good things to pass on. Our tradition of judicial independence is very precious.

Empower some people to be “free spirits.”

In this context, a “free spirit” is a person whose job is “To do whatever she or he can do to make things better”. They would be change agents and catalysts, listening to people and teams, linking people, encouraging new thinking and facilitating conversations towards win-win solutions. They would gain access to people because of their skills, reputation for trustworthiness and honesty, humour and compassion.

It would be a very great honour and privilege to do this work. Ordinary people or governments could fund it. If we had 1000 people in this role worldwide, it might cost £50m a year. If one person helped organisations solve one problem, for instance, by building a better understanding between competing agencies, society would quickly recover the costs.

Find the healthiest, happiest people and discover why and how they are that way.

Some people are both healthy and happy. They are not necessarily “rich”. There is no evidence that material wealth, beyond quite a modest income, adds to either. It could be that these happy and healthy people are doing or thinking things that directly contribute to their happiness and health. If this is so, and we knew what they were, we could choose to do the same.

We could find some healthy and happy people and find out what they do and how they think. The method I have used for “profiling” successful professionals might work here. Who knows, there might be simple things we could all do.

There are already some clues active churchgoing can add years to active life. A positive attitude to ageing can do the same.

Love politicians

This is a radical thought! Politicians are people, so, just like us, they are doing the best they can. It may not be the best possible, but given their history and circumstances, it is the best they can at the time. So blaming and criticising is no help. In any case, you can’t manage the past. You can learn from it.

Politicians may enjoy exercising power, but so do we all. They decide to manage anything that may happen on our behalf. Managing anything is a tremendous responsibility. All of them would earn much more in a less demanding role.

I want to see us support and love politicians rather than criticise them personally. Challenging their ideas is fine. If we elect them to help us, we should help them. One way might be to catch them doing something right and send an appreciative note. Another might be to offer some time or a listening ear. What do you think you could do?

Neighbours from heaven

I get fed up and depressed by all the television programmes that show people at their worst. They are typically called “Neighbours from hell”. I imagine the effect on the viewers is either to confirm their prejudices that people are awful or that this is all you can expect from a particular class or group of people. Neither is very productive.

So, what about some programmes, e.g., “Neighbours from Heaven,” that show the best of people instead? These would show heart-warming stories of extraordinary generosity and kindness. Instead of depressing viewers, they would challenge and inspire them to do something similar. It would encourage more of us to pay attention to good things, and then we would feel better, too.

Networking change leaders and change technologies

Many powerful tools and methods are available to help people and society develop and learn. I have written about appreciative inquiry, re-evaluation counselling, and organisation development and know about others like open-space and process consultation. There are many, many others.

I would love to see conferences and conversations where thought leaders in these fields worked out how their approaches could work together. Maybe they would find a synthesis that was much better than either. We don’t need the competition that says, “Our approach is right, and we have nothing significant to learn from anyone else.” Competing slows us down.

Speak to a stranger

Many people would like our towns and cities to be friendlier. Anyone can decide to make them friendlier by being friendly. We can speak to a stranger, ask a simple question, listen to the answer, or smile at a stranger. It is also nice to say “Thank you for the smile” when someone gives you one. Showing appreciation encourages more smiling and friendliness.

We are all strangers to most people, and most of us are friendly. Speaking to strangers with some encouragement from city leaders might be easier, but we do not have to wait for permission. We can do it. Do “Random Acts of Listening“. It’s fun, and you learn much about others and yourself.

What else could we do to make our communities and cities friendlier?

Finally

I hope this article is interesting, if different. Let me know if you have any comments or want to use the ideas. Also, please let me know if there is any other subject you would like me to write about.